Recently, after a friend of mine showed off his nice new HP Touchpad (running an early alpha of CyanogenMOD) I decided it was time to make the jump and get a tablet as well. The only problem was, being a broke bloke, it was hard to justify the purchase of one when I really didn’t need it. To solve this dilemma, I decided to sell my laptop, a Late 2009 Unibody Macbook (the 6,1 model) and purchase an Asus Eee Pad Transformer (and the dock).

After checking with friends (who laughed at the prospect of owning a Mac), and spamming the global distribution list at work (no bites there), I restored to posting ads on Craigslist and Kijiji (the latter of which brought in zero perspective buyers). The Craigslist ad, though, prompted a number of replies.

The problem, however, was out of all of the replies I received, only four of them were people who were genuinely interested. I won’t post those replies, but instead, the ones that were almost certainly scams.

So a little background information – when I posted the ad, under all of the specs I very clearly wrote “Cash only – must agree to meet me in person, in a public place that we both agree on”. The ensures that not only do I not have to worry about shipping the thing, but it assures me that I won’t get any fraudulent cheques, money orders, etc…. Unfortunately, the people who tend to perpetrate these scams tend to ignore these warns, as outlined below:

This first example was actually “Sarah”‘s second email to me – the first one was a generic “Do you still have the item for sale?” inquiry.

Hello,

Thanks for getting back to me on time,i will like to buy this item and

Am quite comfortable with the condition of the item since i wont be

making any repairs on it,and i will be very more than happy if you can

help me get this item shipped, and am willing to offer $770 to include

the shipping fees through the USPS Express mail service,and i will be

paying you through my PayPal account so send me your PayPal email

address so i can make instant payment get back to me

…….ASAP….Thanks and GOD bless

Note the “GOD bless” at the bottom – I would imagine they were thinking “If I put that in, they’ll think I’m a god-fearing Christian and they’ll be sure to make the deal!”.

1. So what was wrong with this offer? Several things:
2. They ignored my Cash Only – Local Only warning. Never a good sign when they don’t even say “Hey, could you make an exception?”
3. The sentence structure/grammar are…well…horrible and far too formal. Definitely someone trying to sound on the up-and-up a little too hard.
4. Offering to pay more than the listed price. I listed the laptop for less than that. All four of the legit, local enquiries first offered less (in one case, far less) than my asking price. By offering to pay more, the scammer is hoping that you’ll be greedy and jump on the offer.

So why wouldn’t I try, take the money, and send it anyway? Well, the problem is that most of these involve stolen Paypal accounts. The person will get the account, not use it, and wait for something like this to come along (a relatively high-value item). They’ll then use that account to pay for it take the item, which they’ll then sell themselves. Meanwhile, the rightful owner of the Paypal account discovers the new unauthorized charge and files a dispute with Paypal. The money gets pulled from my account, and now I’m short both the money and the laptop. Pretty sneaky.

Another “Sarah” (which seems to be a commonly used name for the scammers) contacted me, asking a few more questions (“Do you still have the box”, and “What condition is it in”), before inevitably asking for my Paypal details to send the Payment. I politely replied that as the ad stated, I would only deal in cash and locally because of the chance of a stolen account being used. To this, she replied (in full):

my account is not stolen

Really? Well in that case, sure! I mean, I wasn’t positive, but you’ve managed to convince me!…Not.

Another one (again, the second email after the first “Is it available, what condition, etc…”):

Hello, thanks for your reply. I’m glad you still have the item for sale. Your asking price sounds OK to me. Payment will be make via money order with the shipping fee included. Payment will be deliver to you within 3 to 5 working days. Then pick up will commence immediate by my shipping agent once you have clear the payment in your bank. I will add extra 50$ to your last asking price if you agree to sell this item and hold it for me till you receive my payment. Kindly fill the below data for payment to be mail out tomorrow morning.

FULL NAME :
PHYSICAL ADDRESS :
CITY, PROVINCE :
ZIP/POSTAL CODE :
PHONE/MOBILE NUMBER :
ITEM AGREED PRICE :

I hope to hearing from you soon with the payment information in order to complete the sales asap. Thanks.

Regards,
Edward Parker.

Nope. Sorry.

There were a bunch more, but all were basically the same. In each instance, my typical reply is this:

As you appear to be illiterate, I well try to phrase my payment requirements in a simpler manner – a haiku:

Cash. Only. I mean it.
Must. Meet. In. Person. Okay?
No Exceptions. Thanks.

So that’s about it. I ended up getting a little less than I asked for it, and now I’m the proud owner of an Asus Eee Pad Transformer. Hopefully it’ll be a long time before I decide to sell anything online again.