LaslowNET

While sitting in the theater the other night, waiting for Iron Man 2 to begin, and holding four extra seats for some friends, I had time to contemplate the fine art of Seat Selection.

It’s interesting to watch how people choose where to sit when the theater is empty. Some immediately go for the seats in the furthest back. Others will go to the least populated section. Myself? I try to get as close to the middle of the theater as possible, or at least the middle of a row (to avoid watching on an angle).

Much like the basic rules that go in to using a urinal, there are a few general guidelines for choosing your seat in a theater when it starts to fill up.

1. Never sit directly next to someone unless there are no other blocks of seats available for your group (in which case it is polite to ask before sitting) or the theater is full enough that only single seats are available.
2. If someone has placed a coat over a seat, respect that it is reserved. If you choose to sit next to it, refer to #1.
3. Although most theaters stagger their seating, some do not. If you are wearing a large hat, take it off so that those behind you can see the movie. If you’re above average in height, try to sit in front of an empty seat if one is available (possibly as a result of #1).
4. If you have small children with you (and it should be noted that just because you can bring a child to an 18a rated movie doesn’t mean you should) at a movie that isn’t a “children’s movie” per say, try to arrive early rather than late and sit in a relatively empty area. This will give those without children the chance to sit as far away from you as possible. This is for your benefit as well as ours.
5. If you arrive late (after the previews have finished) and no one is holding a seat for you, find the most available seat and take it. Don’t spend minutes walking up and down aisles trying to find the ‘perfect place’ – you missed your chance.
6. If you are saving a seat for someone, let them know in advance the general area where you’re sitting. This will prevent them wandering up and down aisles, searching rows and talking loudly.

It was really fun to watch these guidelines in action the other night – it kind of gives me hope because for the last few years going to see a show hasn’t always been the most enjoyable experience. Now, if only they could makes these in to actual rules, punishable by a beating with a sack of sweet Valencia oranges….