While working at rhymes-with-Gordita Technical Support a few years ago, I definitely had my share of WTF calls. The following is about as close to a transcript as I can get to one of them, although the topic of Wifi was common when it came to people making asses of themselves.
Me: Thank you for calling Gordita technical support, this is Laslow speaking.
[snip five minutes of gathering information, creating a ticket, and registering the laptop]
Me: Alright, how can I help you today?
Him: Well, I just bought this damn thing yesterday and the damn wireless doesn’t work.
Me: Okay, sir. Here’s what we’re going to try. Can you please–
Him: NO! I’ve done all of the troubleshooting that can be done on this! I’ve reinstalled the driver, uninstalled and reinstalled the Wireless Config utility, removed it completely and let Windows manage the wireless networks, checked to make sure that the Wireless Zero Configuration service is enabled, and it STILL won’t see ANY wireless networks. NONE! Now I want this thing replaced with a new one, NOT a factory refurb unit. If you can’t do this for me, I want someone who can.
Me: Okay, wow. So you’ve done all that, and no wireless. There is one thing we can still try, which is–
Him: NO! Look, kid – I’ve been working with computers for longer than you’ve been alive. I have my A+, my MCSE, my Cisco ticket, and a Masters in Computer Science. I’ve forgotten more than you know! Now can you replace this damn laptop with one that works?
Me (breathing deeply): Okay, sir, here’s what we’re going to do. Before we can do anything like that, I need to make sure the laptop is in the factory-default state. To do that, I need you to check one, just one, thing for me. Can you please do that?
Him: Just one thing? Okay, what?
Me: Please look on the right-hand side of the laptop.
Him: Okay, what am I looking for?
Me: Do you see a tiny little black switch, with an amber light beside it?
Him: Yes, the light isn’t on.
Me: Okay, good. Can you please flick the switch?
Him: Okay, the light just turned on. Now what?
Me: Look back at the screen – what does it say in the bottom-right-hand-corner?
Him: Wireless networks detected…oh. It’s working now. Why the hell do they turn the wireless off out-of-box. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of! Any why isn’t it in the manual?
Me: Actually, sir, they disable by default for your security, and to help save battery power for those customers who don’t have wireless networks. And in regards to the manual, it’s on page 4.
*CLICK* *DEAD AIR*
Me: Hello, sir? Sir?
Me (to dead air): You’re welcome, and thank you for calling Gordita. Have a nice day!
Comments (0)