For a brief period of time (only five months), I worked in a call centre in Toronto doing technical support for a major laptop vendor (whose name is similar to Gordita). Aside from teaching me about such things as AHT (Average Handle Time), TTA (Time To Answer), and other metrics, I also learned that there are a few places you shouldn’t leave your laptop, and I’m going to share them with you in the form of three short phone calls. Read on after the break!
The definition of Too Much Information
Me: Thank you for calling Gordita technical support. My name is Laslow. How can I help you today?
Him: I’m just wondering, does my warranty cover a broken screen?
Me: I’m sorry, sir, but the basic warranty only covers manufacturing defects, etc…, not physical damage caused by external forces. What happened, though? I may be able to recommend a course of action.
Him: Well, my wife and I were watching a…movie…in bed, and we really got in to it. I mean really got in to it. So in to it that she rolled on to me, then flipped me on to the other side of the bed, where the laptop was.
Me: *Silence*
Him: Ya, that’s what I thought. I’ll just get a new one. Thanks anyways!
I can understand once, maybe twice, but three times?
Me: Thank you for calling Gordita technical support. My name is Laslow. How can I help you today?
Him: I had an accident with my car and my laptop. Can you help me?
Me: That depends on the what happened.
Him: I ran it over.
Me: Oh, well, you can–
Him: Three times.
Me: Oh.
Him: So I can just send it to you and you’ll replace it right? I mean, it’s still under warranty, right?
Me: Well yes, it’s under warranty, but that doesn’t cover physical damage. A warranty, by definition, covers problems caused by manufacturing defects. Your car running over it is not a manufacturing defect.
Him: Oh. Well, you should fix it anyway. I’m a good customer!
Me: I’m sure you are sir. I can recommend a repair facility where you could pay–
–Click–
You mean they don’t make these things waterproof?
Me: Thank you for calling Gordita technical support. My name is Laslow. How can I help you today?
Him: My laptop got a little water in it – will it be alright?
Me: That depends, sir – was it running when it go wet?
Him: Nope – it was just sitting on a lawn chair beside my pool and the damn dog came and knocked it in!
Me: In to the pool? Sir, even though it was turned off, if the battery was in it, that probably shorted out. Also, even if you leave it to dry out completely before trying to turn it on again it probably won’t because of all the chlorine and chemicals that will get left behind.
Him: Oh. So I shouldn’t have tried to plug it in and turn it on right away?
Me: Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?
–Click–
Not surprisingly, most of my calls ended up with people hanging up on me. On the bright side, it kept my AHT below the 11.5 minute metric!
