When performing On-site Visits (some refer to them as Service Calls), most techs have a few unwritten rules about what and what not to do. These are mine.

• #1 - Never, under any circumstances, accept food/drink, regardless of how nice the people are and how clean the house looks. It only takes one case of food poisoning make a case for this rule.
• #2 – If told, upon entering, “Don’t worry about your shoes, this place is a mess.”, leave your shoes on. Yes, it’s polite to take them off anyways, however I’ve ruined a few pairs of socks that way.
• #3 – Always keep a clean change of clothing/socks/shoes in your vehicle. See rule #2.
• #4 – Sometimes an On-site Visit shouldn’t be an On-site Visit. Malware cleanups/operating system systems re-installs should be taken back to the shop and performed there. Not only does this save the customer money, but it saves you from having to sit in front of a slow machine for three hours, twiddling your thumbs, and being asked “So what am I actually paying you to do?” over and over again.
• #5 – Don’t be afraid to carry, and more importantly, use, protective gloves when picking up a computer to return it to the shop. This will be covered in an up-coming post (Tales from Support: The Bird Lady). Cover-alls are also recommended in some situations.
• #6 – Trust your instinct. If something sounds off about a call-out, and you’re uncertain, ask someone to tag along with you for ‘training’. Two people have a better chance of escaping a knife-wielding wacko than one.
• #7 – Bring spare parts. Preferably as many as you can carry of anything possibly related to the problem, no matter how remote. There’s nothing worse than driving an hour to get to a customer’s location, only to discover that their idea of a broadband internet connections is a 33.6Kbps modem and you only brought NIC’s. Then, when you return to the site, find out that your 56Kbps modem doesn’t work in their ancient system, and a further trip shows that the 33.6Kbps modem you brought just doesn’t work.
• #8 – Always carry two USB drives with your cleanup utilities, drivers, basic software, etc…, and make sure both have a physical write-protect tab that is always switched on. See rule #7 when the customer’s USB port fries your drive and you’re an hour away from a replacement.
• #9 – Never use the front USB ports on a customers computer. You never know who connected the USB leads to the motherboard header, and if they accidentally reversed the negative and positive. See rule #8.
• #10 – Expanding on rule #8, re: write-protect tab. A fair bit of malware out there now tires to write an autorun.inf file to any removable devices attached to the system. You may not notice it immediately, but if your drive is write-enabled and you get hit, you’ll sure know about when you connect it to the next customer’s computer….
• #11 – Steer clear of any discussion regarding politics or religion. Don’t get yourself in trouble by idly mentioning that your a socialist atheist after the customer mentions that all unions are scum and Steven Harper is God’s gift to politics. Not that I know this one from experience….
• #12 – Don’t mention that you spent time working for the Government, or that you briefly lived in Toronto. Again, not that this happened to me….
• #13 – Be friendly, but know where to draw the line, especially if your new ‘friend’ wants you to get in on the ground floor of his latest investment scheme…err…project….
• #14 – Check your tools before leaving. Preferably, check your tools before closing up the computer’s case and plugging it in. If you don’t, see rule #7.
• #15 – Always carry a cell phone. See rules #1-14.

This is a slightly expanded post from the other blog I used to contribute to, Carnival of Wank. The post was Dust Masks and Danger Pay.