It was a quiet morning at QWE Computers – Shane and I were working in the back, and Todd was up front. It had been slow for a few days, and we were all waiting for something exciting to happen. They always say ‘be careful what you wish for’, and as it turns out, they’re right.
The front door opened, and a new customer walked in – she wasn’t a regular, and as far as we could remember, none of us had ever dealt with her before. She brought a laptop bag up to the counter and carefully set it on top, then took a step back. Todd greeted her.
Todd: How can I help you today.
Her: Well, I’m actually a little embarrassed, and I don’t know if you can help me.
If there’s any way to get our attention, that was it. Shane and I stepped out from the workbenches so we could hear better.
Todd: Go ahead – what’s wrong?
Her: So, I had a party last night. A lot of people came over, and we were having a pretty good time. Then, around midnight, one of my friends decided he wanted to check his email.
Todd: Okay, so it wouldn’t connect or something?
Her: No, it worked fine. Well, for a little while.
Todd: Okay, so what did it do?
Her: Well, it’s not what it did. It’s what he did. Look for yourself.
As she started to unzip the laptop bag, we all gathered around, imagining a charred case, or maybe everything being melted. Instead, the stench of vodka, vomit, and nine hours worth of rotting, putrid, bile-soaked laptop exploded from within.
Everyone gagged, then quickly backed away from the case. Todd ran to get a can of air freshener, and Shane and I just gaped.
Her: He had a little too much to drink, and threw up all over it. It turned off right away, though. Can you fix it?
At this point, none of us wanted to get close to it, let alone touch it. Todd came back, sprayed the front area of the shop until all you could smell was lavender with a hint of bile, and promised her that we’d have a look, and maybe send it to our supplier to see if they could maybe salvage some of the bits and maybe put them in a bare-bones laptop to save her some money, rather than buying a completely new laptop. After giving us her contact information, she left rather quickly.
The rest of the details are a little hazy, but someone found a pair of gloves and cleaned it off enough to get a look, but it was pretty apparent that the keyboard and motherboard were shot. That sorted out, we boxed it up and shipped it off to our supplier, then moved on.
The next day, mid-afternoon, our supplier called in. They weren’t impressed.
Todd: So, did you get that laptop we sent in? Can you salvage anything other than the hard drive?
Them: We didn’t even look! What did they do, drop it in a toilet? We’re not going anywhere near that thing! It’s on it’s way back to you in a sealed bag – don’t ever send us anything like that again!
So with that, the laptop was returned, and using more gloves we were able to salvage the hard drive and recover the poor girl’s data. We never saw her again after that, but I always cringe whenever someone asking for help starts off with ‘So, I was at this party…’.
